Embarrassing Sex Questions
1. Why aren’t my breasts a perfectly matched set?
Unless they’ve been surgically altered, most women’s breasts are not perfectly matched. That’s because breasts are made of mammary gland tissue and fat, and there are naturally different amounts in each, explains Dr. Glenn Updike, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Magee Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh.
All women have some difference in their breasts; for some, the difference is more pronounced. Usually, this is only a cosmetic, and sometimes comfort, issue. (If it’s embarrassing or impacting your sex life, surgical remedies are available.) However, while different-sized breasts are common, if one breast suddenly becomes much larger than the other it could indicate an infection or tumor, so have your gynecologist evaluate it immediately.
2. Is it normal to pass gas during orgasm?
When you climax, the muscles around your genitals – including the sphincter muscle – relax, and when they do, it’s not unusual for a little gas to escape, says Dr. Millicent Comrie, MPH, founder and medical director of the Long Island College Center for Women’s Health in Brooklyn. But even before orgasm, because the penis rubs against the anus through the vaginal wall, the in-and-out motion may trigger gas, Comrie says. If it’s a frequent problem and really embarrassing to you, she suggests taking an over-the-counter anti-gas medication that contains simethicone before having sex.
3. If I had a dream about having sex with another woman, does that mean I’m gay or bisexual?
Not necessarily, says Michele Sugg, a certified sex therapist in Branford, Connecticut, and member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. It could mean you’re attracted to women (or a particular woman), but it could also mean you’re missing the closeness that friendships with women brings. “Sometimes women symbolize nurturance, love and closeness,” Sugg explains. “If you’re in a relationship with a guy and you’re not getting enough closeness, a dream like this might symbolize that you need more of that.”
It’s important to remember that an erotic dream doesn’t define your sexual identity. “Even if it means you feel sexually attracted to another woman, you don’t need to pigeonhole yourself,” Sugg says. “A lot of studies find that women’s sexuality is more fluid. Maybe at times you’ll be attracted to women and at times you won’t be. There’s a scale rather than being gay, straight or bi.”
Some seasons of life Impact Sexing in Marriage
Some seasons of life are exceptionally stressful. A young married couple with small children is caught between the stressors of a young man’s high sex drive and the monumental exhaustion that comes from the wife’s role as mother of small children. If this is you:
- First, avoid blaming each other. Face this problem together.
- Change the pattern of your life–radically if you need to (and I don’t mean giving away the children!) for the sake of your marriage. Cut outside commitments and in-home expectations in order to give yourselves more energy and time together.
- Keep up and work hard on all the other aspects of your relationship.
- Make sure each of you are doing a fair share of the child-rearing.
- Hire a babysitter or exchange free babysitting with friends in order to have time alone.
- Keep a sense of humor as much as possible. This is a situation that many, many couples have to work through, not just you. You’ll make it through.
A Healthy Sex Life: 10 Reasons to Make Love
Evidence points to the many health benefits of an active sex life. Sex Made Easy, an article published in Men’s Health Magazine, gives 10 healthy reasons to hop into bed — a reminder that making love is good for both body and soul.
1. Exercise. “Sexual activity is a form of physical exercise,” according to Dr. Michael Cirigliano of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. Making love three times a week burns around 7,500 calories in a year — the equivalent of jogging 75 miles.
2. Heavy Breathing. A night of love can raise the amount of oxygen in cells, helping to keep organs and tissues functioning at their peak.
3. Strong Bones and Muscles. “Any kind of physical exercise is going to increase testosterone,” states Dr. Karen Donahey, director of the Sex and Marital Therapy Program at Chicago’s Northwestern University Medical Center. Testosterone is believed to help keep men’s bones and muscles strong.
4. Lowered Cholesterol. Making love regularly can lower levels of the body’s total cholesterol slightly, while positively changing the ratio of good-to-bad cholesterol.
5. Pain Relief. Sex can lower levels of “arthritic pain, whiplash pain and headache pain,” according to Dr. Beverly Whipple, president-elect of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Hormones that are released during sexual excitement and orgasm can elevate pain thresholds.
6. DHEA — Without Supplements. DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), a popular supplemental hormone, is released naturally during lovemaking. “Just before orgasm and ejaculation,” Crenshaw says, “DHEA spikes to levels three to five times higher than usual.”
7. Prostate Protection. Researchers say prostate trouble may arise or be worsened by fluid buildup within the gland. Regular ejaculation will help wash out those fluids. Be cautious when suddenly changing frequency — sudden changes may also trigger prostate problems.
8. Stress Relief. “Sex can be a very effective way of reducing stress levels,” Donahey told Men’s Health.
9. Love Will Keep Us Together. Crenshaw says affectionate touch will increase levels of oxytocin — the “bonding hormone.” Oxytocin is a desire-enhancing chemical secreted by the pituitary. Regular oxytocin release may help encourage frequent lovemaking.
10. Hormones — Naturally. “Regular lovemaking can increase a woman’s estrogen level, protect her heart and keep her vaginal tissues more supple,” states Donahey.
Five Signs You Have a Healthy Sex Life
Do you have a happy healthy sex life? Unfortunately many couples often compare their sex life with those of other couples. Don’t do that. Each relationship and situation is different. What works for one couple might not work for you. That being said, there are a few common things you can look for that will help you determine if you have a happy and healthy sex life. Below are five signs that will help you see just how healthy your sex life is or isn’t.
Sign #1 - Your Relationship is Healthy
Couples with a healthy relationship communicate with each other on a regular basis. The lines of communication are always open. Healthy couples are able to tell each other when something is wrong. Healthy relationships consist of two equally committed individuals. Healthy couples have realistic expectations of each other and are not over demanding.
Sign #2 - Experimenting in the bedroom
Experimenting in bed is a sign of a happy and healthy sex life. Don’t go overboard here. Experimenting in bed will improve your sex life a great deal, but don’t overdo it. Experimentation can be done in several different ways. It can something as simple as trying a new position or having sex in a different place.
Sign #3 - Sex is Freely Given
When couples have been together for a long time sex tends to become more of a chore rather then something that is done for pleasure. Sex should be something that you enjoy doing with your partner. Not something you feel obligated to do. Having sex because you want to will allow you to achieve maximum pleasure.
Sign #4 - Sex is A Regular Part of The Relationship
It is not uncommon for sex to take a back seat to everything else. When you are dealing with raising a family, working and handling other important tasks it can be very hard to have sex on a regular basis. Don’t let your day to day responsibilities get in the way of you having sex with your partner. Couples who make time for sex have happy healthy sex lives. Be spontaneous! If you only have time for a quickie then by all means do a quickie.
Sign #5 - Sex is more than just Sex
Unfortunately most people don’t realize that sex is about more than just having intercourse. Foreplay is extremely important when it comes to having a happy and healthy sex life. Every day you should do something that your partner might not expect. Leave a little love note or send them an unexpected gift to work. This will keep your partner interested in you. If the romance is still going on way after the intercourse has come to an end then you have a happy and healthy sex life.
Areas Involved in Sexual Health
There are five major areas involved in male and female sexual health:
1. Psychological/mental–The causes of psychological sexual dysfunction and poor sexual health are numerous, and it is difficult to pinpoint, but most often low libido is related to depression, performance anxiety, marital stress or relationship problems, life crisis, financial difficulties, religious repression, or some type of mental illness. return of sexual health is possible through various forms of therapy, stress release, vacation, etc.
2. Hormonal–Important to sexual health and good libido are androgens, such as testosterone which declines in men by about 1 percent each year, contributing to lower male libido with aging. Testosterone also declines with age in women leading to a decrease in female libido. Women who have had surgical removal of the ovaries notice a drop in sexual interest. Return of sexual health through androgen replacement may be helpful to those with age related sexual dysfunction. Testosterone is available by prescription only. Over-the-counter hormones, such as DHEA and Pregnenolone, convert to testosterone having a positive influence on libido.
3. Vascular–Changes in blood flow to and from the penis caused by medical conditions such as atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries, high cholesterol, hypertension, or diabetes are common causes of male erectile dysfunction. These conditions reduce blood flow to the penis and genital organs leading to difficulty with erection or genital swelling. Good sexual health may be once again achieved with proper diet and exercise. Additionally penile injury, surgery or excessive sitting on a bicycle can impede blood flow. Studies show that men who mountain bike several thousand miles a year suffer scrotal damage that could reduce their fertility.
4. Neural–Disorders such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, and stroke affect the brain’s ability to respond to sexual stimulation due to nerve damage. In women, abdominal or pelvic operations can occasionally lead to nerve damage. Sexual dysfunction is common in men undergoing surgical treatment for prostate enlargement or C.
5. Chemical–Some chemicals involved in the human sexual response and libido include dopamine, acetylcholine, and nitric oxide. Sexual enhancement is quite likely through manipulation of these brain chemicals by using natural herbs.
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